Be the Light

Do you know anyone who loves changing the clocks so that it’s dark at 4:30 in the afternoon? Add to that the piercing cold and it’s no wonder depression is rampant this time of year. We are like plants needing water and sunlight to survive and we don’t grow or function well without them.

Think of the two major religious holidays that usually occur within a few weeks of the shortest day of the year – Christmas and Hanukkah. Aside from the presents and delicious food, they both bring light to us in the darkest of times, figuratively and literally. The beautiful lights of the Christmas trees are always celebrated and admired, while in Jewish homes, the menorahs are lit for eight nights to celebrate the miracle of the oil. We need and seek the light in our lives.

And currently, in our world, we feel a darkness, a hopelessness, overtaking so many of us. The world seems to be spinning out of control on so many fronts. Politically, environmentally, economically, health-wise, and personally. Many say they cannot remember having such dark times in their lifetime. It’s very frightening for so many of us.

We notice that many people are shutting down, becoming more withdrawn, ruder, angrier, less willing to reach out and accept people who are different than us. That affects the rest of us in negative ways, no matter how hard we try not to let that negativity suck us in.

Where is Mr. Rogers when we need him?

I’m not even saying that facetiously, I mean it. He was the epitome of kindness, the opposite of these negative traits. He taught many of us as we grew up about the virtues of the Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. This maxim is featured prominently in almost every religion in one form or another. It is said in different ways, different languages, but it all comes down to treat others the way you want to be treated. It sounds so simple, but it seems to be so difficult for so many these days. The anger seems to be winning out over the kindness and empathy we need to survive as a society.

Why are we allowing the anger and incivility to win? That’s an awful way to live. We may not have a choice or power over other people’s actions, but how we react is up to us. We are in desperate need of kindness and love these days. Let’s remind ourselves about the Golden Rule and smile when we think of Mr. Rogers. And if we find ourselves drowning in the darkness, let’s reach out and be the light not only for ourselves but a lifeline for others who are drowning as well. We are all in desperate need of the light these days.

Copyright Nancy Machlis Rechtman, all rights reserved

Happy New Year?

I remember last year about this time, we were all eagerly awaiting the start of 2020. It had to be better than 2019, right? Because for so many of us, 2019 had been a pretty crappy year. Or so we thought. Did any of us have a clue as to what was about to hit us like an out-of-control freight train barreling in our direction and then jumping the tracks? 

We tend to go through most of life like this. In our little bubbles of complacency.  Life toddles along and we believe that what is will always be so.  Until it’s not. Until someone we love gets sick. Or disappears from our line of sight forever and we’ll never be the same. Until Pearl Harbor or 9/11.  Until this virus. Until the freight train jumps its tracks.

There was so much that was unexpected, not normal, disheartening and disconcerting about this year. Not necessarily new, but so depressing that we’re facing the same awful problems over the decades – racism, sexism, prejudice in all its shapes and forms. Climate change. Cruelty. The insane fact that 2,153 billionaires have more wealth than that of 4.6 billion other people on this planet.  The loss of two of our biggest heroes – John Lewis and Ruth Bader Ginsburg was particularly devastating. The presidential election was a close second to the pandemic, with the refusal of the current president and his party to concede and admit that they lost, demanding numerous recounts, yelling voter fraud when there was none, trying to disenfranchise voters of color and gerrymander districts like pretzels, pounding their fists that it was not OK to vote absentee (unless you lived in a red state, then it was perfectly OK), attempt to destroy the US Postal Service to discourage absentee voting in the midst of a global pandemic… The insanity and embarrassing behavior of so many of our so-called leaders went on and on, while the rest of the country and the world congratulated Joe Biden on his victory and eagerly anticipated having empathy, intelligence, and kindness back in place in the Oval Office.

But this year will primarily be remembered for the worldwide pandemic and subsequent quarantines, unlike anything we had foreseen or that most of us had actually seen in our lifetimes. A year in which Covid-19 killed almost 2 million people worldwide and over 300,000 here in the United States.  And as of last week (per Reuters) “In the United States last week, someone died from COVID-19 every 33 seconds.” Stop for a minute and just think of what that means. We’re becoming numb to these statistics. But statistics represent people. Over 300,000 of our fellow Americans have died this year from this horrible virus. What’s even worse, so many of these deaths were preventable. So much tragic loss while so many of those in power refused to take this virus seriously – although some of them did take it seriously in private, but worried more about their investments and the money they could make if they dabbled in a bit of insider trading, than the health and well-being of their constituents by publicly downplaying the severity of the looming pandemic. 

The fact that mask mandates are as controversial as they are is patently ridiculous. It has been proven scientifically over and over again that wearing masks saves lives. Along with social distancing, hand washing, and not touching your face. People screaming about their freedoms instead of caring about their vulnerable neighbors are the heart of the problem. When you live in a society, you have responsibilities that come with your rights. Just like we have speed limits and seatbelt laws and drunk driving laws, your responsibilities include not doing things that endanger others. There shouldn’t be one bit of controversy over wearing a piece of cloth over your face (correctly) when you’re out in public. Talk to the public health workers who have been putting their lives on the line every single day while they’re trying to save lives. Ask them what they’ve seen. Ask how they’ve been the only ones who can hold the hands of their patients who are dying from Covid because their families aren’t allowed to be there to say good-bye to their loved ones. Ask about their grief and their mental health and then be so dismissive of precautions to keep the general population healthy. Ask the families who have lost loved ones to this virus how they feel about your right to party in large groups without wearing masks. Ask those who couldn’t attend the funerals of their loved ones because of the restrictions in place how they feel about you refusing to wear a mask when you walk into a grocery store. When you hear that 300,000 people have died, that is an overwhelming, tragic number. But you have to stop thinking of it as a number. You have to remember that this number represents 300,000 lives. People with hopes and dreams for the future. People who loved and were loved. Grandparents, parents, wives, husbands, friends, lovers, children. And then stop and let that reality wash over you. 300,000 souls are gone. They are missed, grieved for, lives have been forever changed and broken. And so much of this could have been prevented.

And yes, it’s terribly difficult to be isolated and lose your social support for this long. We all want to gather again, hug our friends and families, celebrate birthdays and births, travel, go to restaurants and movies and plays again. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. And so we Zoom, FaceTime, make old-fashioned phone calls. And we all agree, it’s not the same as being there in person. But right now, we don’t have a choice if we want to come out of this on the other side. And there is another side in sight. There are currently three vaccines that have been proven to be safe and effective. And hopefully by next summer, all who can be vaccinated will be vaccinated, and some semblance of normalcy will hopefully return to our lives.

And it’s absolutely tragic what a shambles our economy is in, how hard hit small businesses have been, how many people are barely hanging on as their jobs disappear, workplaces are closed,  so many are unable to pay rent or buy food, people are desperate for help. Significant help must be on the way, not breadcrumbs thrown at them which seems to be the current method of dealing with this crisis. So much of our current system needs to be overhauled to meet the needs of our people on so many fronts. The new administration is facing this Herculean task, but they have chosen experienced, intelligent, caring people to work on these problems, and hopefully they won’t be faced with continuous obstruction by the opposition. People need help and it’s time to stop playing games.

And so, in a few days it will be 2021. We have bestowed magical powers onto the coming year, putting the full weight of our hopes and dreams on such a tender, yet-to-be formed year. But we need hope. We need to dream again. We need to believe that in the not-too-distant future we will have our lives back. For so many of us, there was so little that felt right about 2020. We all have changed in some way – some for the better, but many are struggling. We have learned more about what’s important in life and that good health is at the top of the list, along with being with our loved ones, being able to feel secure when it comes to having a roof over our heads and our ability to feed ourselves and our families, and that kindness is necessary now more than ever. Amassing more and more things is finally now at the bottom of many of our lists.

And so let’s all raise a glass to the promise of 2021. May it bring the hope and the empathy we all need so desperately. But let’s be kind to the new year, and let’s be patient.  And let each of us be the light and the love that the world needs. Happy New Year. 

 

 

Copyright Nancy Machlis Rechtman, all rights reserved